Rumors

Chapter 25

Double-Click decides to take Bobbing Bob’s advice. He sits on his couch and switches on the bizarre, garish TV channel whose banner spouts a constant stream of world news and stock prices. He learns that during his 2016 campaign, Trump could not resist the lure of a weapon of mass destruction that was easy to manufacture and didn’t require advanced technology: ‘Parkinson’s rumors’.

***

Son of P…arkin, the Mind-boggling Blog

On the Correct Usage of Rumors

To quote Knowckers.org, ‘It appears that Hillary Rodham Clinton is receiving Levodopa as treatment for a Parkinson’s syndrome that has been evolving over the past ten years’.

And it gets more specific: ‘The impact on motor skills can lead to walking difficulties that necessitate the assistance of both the doctor in charge of monitoring Mrs. Clinton’s steps, Dr. Lisa Bardack, and a black aide (sic) in helping her climb a flight of stairs, for example.

‘In addition – and not to mention the three times she fell because of a balance disorder specific to this neurodegenerative disease – she suffers from dysphagia that leads to severe coughing fits and is thus likely to develop aspiration pneumonia, as it actually happened on September 9 in Cleveland. A complication that could have been fatal.’

In other words, dear American voters, don’t bother voting for Hillary, she’ll be dead in a few days anyway. But did the new POTUS take advantage of this rumor?

Let’s take a look at the OBS magazine of July 24, 2016:

‘Last week, Donald Trump’s spokeswoman Katrina Pierson said on television that Hillary Clinton has dysphasia (speech impairment). And although Donald Trump never openly spread the rumor, he did drop a few hints at a foreign policy meeting: “[Hillary Clinton] lacks the mental and physical stamina to take on ISIS and all of the many adversaries we face.’

On Saturday, August 20, he tweeted: ‘Where’s Hillary? Sleeping!’

“So subtle! I guess Trump should have read what I wrote about sleep on my blog,” Double-Click exclaims.

Luckily, we wouldn’t tolerate that kind of behavior here in France! Our political system is too civilized for this. Or is it, really? On August 26, 2015, the French periodical 20 minutes published: ‘At 69, the oldest member of the government Laurent Fabius made a quick recovery. But his fainting spell revived rumors about his state of health, and about Parkinson’s in particular’. “Parkinson’s? Now, that’s news to me. Do I look like I’m shaking?” he told Le Monde.

***

Interesting, thinks Double-Click, it’s always Bobbing Bob who is used to caricature Old Hubert. True enough, the tremors ruin everything: caring for one’s family, working, having fun, and even laughing at the irony of it all.

It’s physio time. Double-Click takes a shower and puts on his shorts, feeling a little guilty for not having done any of the exercises Slim asked him to do last time.

As Double-Click stretches his triceps, psoas, pectorals, and adductors, he feels a searing pain in his right leg’s quadriceps – it’s Carcan reminding him that he hates being woken up without warning.

Slim rings the bell. Double-Click opens the door, absentminded, thinking about that intriguing Le Monde article on jealousy. He will post an excerpt from it on his blog.

Are things even worse than I care to admit? he wonders while getting ready for his physio.

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